November 18 - Dear Diary, while we were out shopping on Jamaica Avenue we saw the first snowflakes of winter! It was just for a few minutes, if you blinked you would have missed it. I love the way the El train looks when a little snow sticks to it. I can’t wait to see the snow in Forest Park. I hope we get a white Christmas!
December 16 – Dear Diary, this morning we woke up to a light dusting, just enough to make everything look so pretty. We walked along Park Lane South and held hands like we were teenagers again. What a beautiful day!
December 25 – Dear Diary, we really wanted snow for Christmas, but I guess you can’t have everything. Hopefully we’ll get some snow soon to make up for it.
December 28 – Dear Diary, we had our first real snow of the year. We’re sitting inside right now, snuggled up together, watching snowflakes fly all over the place. The streets of Woodhaven are so peaceful and quiet right now, it’s like a Winter Wonderland. I wish it could be like this all year long!
January 16 – Dear Diary, well, it snowed a bunch again, but it looks nice. I had to shovel twice, but I don’t mind, it's great exercise. Our sidewalk is still a little icy, so I had to put down some extra salt. I hope no one slips.
January 26 – Dear Diary, we were supposed to get 26 inches but “only” got about nine inches so I guess we should count our blessings. Still, there’s a lot of snow out there. What makes it worse is that the plow buried our car so deep it’ll take hours to dig out. Why can’t the plows push this stuff on the other side of 91st street once in a while?
February 5 – Dear Diary, we just got rid of the last bunch of snow and we got hit again with more. Not for nothing, but this is getting a little old. The wife doesn’t seem to mind but that’s because I’m the one that has to shovel this crap.
February 16 – Diary. Okay, enough already. Even if I could get my car out I’d have a heck of a time getting parking on the avenue. And if I did get parking I’d have to climb over a mountain of ice to get to the stupid Muni Meter machine and back over that same stupid mountain of ice to put the stupid ticket on my stupid dashboard. Forget it, I’ll walk.
February 22 – I think I sprained my stupid ankle walking to the stupid avenue. A big chunk of ice fell off the El train and nearly took my head off. When I got home my wife complained that I forgot her soup from the diner. Boo-hoo! Between you and me, I didn’t forget, I just didn’t feel like crossing the street and if she keeps it up I’ll tell her so.
March 1 – This is ridiculous. We’re almost out of salt and I can’t dig my car out to go get any more. If someone falls, they fall. People shouldn’t walk on our side of the street anyway. My wife and I haven’t spoken in seven days.
March 4 – My wife has one side of the apartment and I have the other. She’s got the side with the kitchen, the bathroom and Netflix. I have the side with the wet clothes and the snow shovel.
March 6 – Snowing again. I hate scraping up the snow packed down by people’s footprints. I sat on my porch shouting obscenities and waving my shovel at anyone walking past my house. The officers told me to calm down. I told them to stop standing on the snow on my sidewalk. My court date is in June. My car should be thawed out by then. I hate this stupid snow.
Flash forward five months to summer, in the midst of a heatwave:
August 15 – Dear Diary, I can’t stand it, it’s like an oven outside. We don’t have the energy to do anything. I wish it were winter again right now, even if just for a few minutes.
Hang in there folks, winter is almost over.